What Is An Expat?

Ok, so maybe you’ve read that I got a chance to visit the nice folks at the hospital a few weeks ago. Turns out I had an ulcer. I got two weeks worth of pills at 1 a day (plus Iron? dunno) and since I’m lazy, after another week or so I went back for the follow up.

I told the doc I was feeling much better, but my guts were still feeling like someone was squeezing them. The doc looks at me funny and requests further detail, as apparently ulcers make you sick but don’t hurt. Hmmm…uh oh. But it started that same night?

Well, long story not as long, it appears that I herniated myself while dry heaving due to the ulcer, and due to possible miscommunication and my ignorance of sickness in general I just dealt with it for 3 weeks for no apparent reason. Something else also became apparent while I was there that actually scared me more, but I will keep that to myself. It really damaged my day though, thinking that I’m 34 and my warranty must be out or something. (more…)

The Background:

Probably about 8 months ago, I had what I thought was food poisoning. Terrible sense of fullness up near my solar plexus, indigestion, not being able to burp enough up to make the pressure go away, diarrhea, and finally vomiting, which mercifully ended it in the early morning hours.

6 months or so after that pleasant experience, it happened again in the same exact way. That struck me as vaguely unusual.

About a month later, I had similar symptoms but at a much lower level, more discomfort than OMIGOSHIMDYING. I did some research, because I really don’t know all that much about being sick, and came up with heartburn. After 4-5 days of this, it got rather bad, with the severity of the two previous incidents. I hoped that the vomiting would come soon and put me out of my misery. This wasn’t so late in the evening and I thought I might even get a decent night’s sleep out of it instead of waking up in the middle of the night wanting to die. Well, dry heaving was about the closest I came to that. That’s when I really started to hurt, and I had to make the decision. (more…)

Ok, so it’s probably not a fascinating thing to write about, and in fact that’s not what I’m going to write about. So there. I’ll have a number 7 plain with cheese, please.

I’ve been a little beatdown the past couple of days. Real tired, and I am going to lay it at a little disease I was exposed to that I call cowpox. I guess it’s better than having smallpox, though. 3 days ago I actually had a headache. Fairly unusual for me. I just dragged through the whole day from about 11ish AM on. Tired and weak, I barely made it. Hit the cot, fast asleep by 8PM. Get up in the morning at 6ish to do the shower run. Typical early morning slowness to move. Standing in the shower, not feeling so good, and SUDDENLY IT’S A LIGHTSHOW! THAT’S RIGHT KIDS, I MEAN GREEN AND RED AND ORANGE! WHAT’S THAT GODDAM BUZZING NOISE? OOH PRETTY LIGHTS! Mr Sensible had the foresight to grab one of the cross bars so I did not fall. Hey, important to breathe! Must…not…pass out…in shower! (more…)

Well, kind of a lot is happening this week, huh?

Started off the week with the malaria tablets. Haven’t had too much in the way of problems with that except for some rough dreams that seem to have gone away. Add to that my smallpox poke on Wednesday and I wasn’t much of a happy camper. The Z Monster came up and perched on my shoulders like a lonely vulture. Soothingly it whispered, “just close your eyes, it’ll be okay…all that stuff can wait. Sleeeeepppp…” From about 2PM on I was beat, among other things. “I will watch over and protect you, just rest your weary head…” But nay! The wanderings must go on! “Why? Why do you do this? Just a lil’ break…” Supper was uninspiring. That is to say, I simply couldn’t eat much. The food itself was probably fine. “Ah yes, after a meal, they always fall apart! Victory is mine!”

And it was. By 7:30PM I was a cot-confined individual. Just fine the next day. My blister looks like it is starting to raise up. Soon it will get nasty looking — I’d take pictures, but my camera died, sent back to the states for repair and those sorry bastiges won’t have it back to me before I leave on R&R most likely. Then it becomes a delightful scab before falling off in the third week to crawl away and attempt to infect other unwary souls. It’s not actually smallpox you get, but some live cowpox. Afterwards you are protected from smallpox, cowpox, and…monkeypox. Remember kids, it’s always a bad idea to consort too closely with monkeys. Sure they’re cute and all, and look like beloved members of your family, but they carry disease and throw shit. Nobody needs that. (more…)